（一）容易混淆的词汇

考生由于对形似、意近的词辨别不清，不知道他们各自的具体用法，而在写作中出现失误。比如，有的词虽然意思相同，但他们表达同一个意思的程度是不同的；有的英语单词的汉语意思相同，但他们所限定修饰的词、使用的范围或者连接的成分是不同的；有的单词的文体风格不同，有正式和非正式之分。要注意自己写文章的总体风格，在正式文体中避免使用非正式的语言。鉴于选词的难度，考生应在平时注意多查词典，注意其中所举得例句，在看英语材料时留心写作词汇的具体使用环境，并摘录一些自己能看明白但说不出的表达。

1、Original: Bill Gates gives a definite answer that college education does count.

Revised: Bill Gates gave a definitive answer: college education does count.

Definite意思是“明确的”、“一定的”，指意思明确，不会误解；definitive也是“明确”的意思，但往往指“authority性、决定的”。此话出自比尔·盖茨之口，体现authority性，故将definite改为definitive。

2、Original: …people may attend a university or college for various reasons...

Revised: …people attend university or college for a multitude of reasons...

此处将various改为短语a multitude of更为正式，体现人们读大学的原因很多。

3、Original: The kinds of education that we got on school are formal and intense ones...

Revised: The kinds of education that we receive at school is formal and of tentimes very intense.

不必用kinds of education，直接用education（教育）即可；“受教育”不同get，改为receive；“在学校”不必用at school；把one去掉，用oftentimes very intense指出学校教育常常是非常严格的。

4、Original: They can foster their interests in some fields to make life more colorful and meaningful.

Revised: They can even pick up hobbies to make life more colorful and enjoyable.

Foster their interests是“培养兴趣”，此处用pick up hobbies（开始各种各样的兴趣）更为合适；不同的兴趣是我们生活的调味剂，使我们的生活多姿多彩，乐趣无穷，把meaningful换成 enjoyable，与colorful搭配更合适。

5、Original: Needless to say, more employment means more income and less idle life, so that people can enjoy a better life and make investment in their future.

Revised: Needless to say, more employment means income and less idle time, so that people can enjoy a better life and invest in their own futures.

把idle life改为idle time更为合适，表示“闲散时间”；make investment可改为动词invest，与and前的动词enjoy词性一致；人们各自有自己的未来，故将in their future改为in their own futures。

6、Original: Another important factor that contributes to the extension of life expectancy is the development of medical science.

Revised: Another imortant factor that contributes to the rise in life expectancy is the development of medical science.

“人的寿命的延长”可以表示为life extension，但是如果用life expectancy，则要用the increast of 或the rise in life expectancy。

7、Original: the growth of life span.

Revised: the rise in/increase of life span.

Life span意思是“寿命”，growth指“生长，增长”，“寿命的延长”用growth不合适，life span“寿命的延长”可以用rise in/increase of/extension of.

8、Original: energy saving

Revised: energy efficiency

Energy saving一般作定语，此处名词短语“节能”用energy efficiency。

9、Original: with the increasing complicatedness of the job profile

Revised: with the increasing complexity of the modern jor profile

Complicatedness意思是“错综复杂”，但是这种错综复杂是有逻辑的；complexity也是“复杂”的意思，但这种复杂是杂乱无辜的，现代的工作情况用complexity较为合适。

10、Original: Such experience will difinitely be helpful in children's later life.

Revised: Such experience will benefit them later in life.

Helpful是“提供帮助”的意思，而benefit是“使…受益”。这里作者想说的是孩子将来的人生会受益于这样的经历，用benefit合适，因为这样的经历不一定能对孩子将来的人生提供什么具体的帮助。

11、Original: In my submission, people should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing.

Revised: Because of these circumstances, I believe it is inevitable that people must do what they don't enjoy doing.

In one's submission虽然也可以表示某人所持的观点，但是这是一种非常formal（正式）的表述，用在这里和整体文章的风格不太相符。

12、 Original: For no one can promise what will happen in the future, if you don't save some money, an emergency will probably make you a cat on a hot brick.

Revised: Because no one can predict the future, if you don't save money an unforeseen emergency can be financially crippling.

Promise 的意思是“承诺、允诺”，用在这里不合适，作者要说的是没有人能与之未来发生的事，应该用predit。还有，作者在这里用了一个惯用语a cat on a hot brick，这又有一个错误。，这个表述本身有错误，正确的应该是like a cat on hot bricks。第二，这个惯用语的意思是“忐忑不安，如热锅上的蚂蚁“，用在这里意思也不太合适。

（二）固定搭配问题

适当地使用固定搭配（如固定短语）可以使文章表达流畅、到位，考生应在平时阅读范文或其他材料时，注意摘录一些固定搭配，表明他们的用途范围，并在练习写作中留意固定搭配。当然，记忆一定要准确，特别要注意固定搭配中所使用的词性、词形等。

1、 Original: ...there is no deny that a university or college really offers us great enlightment for students future development and growth.

Revised: ... there is no denying that a university diploma really offers great opportunities for student's personal growth.

there is no deny改为固定搭配there is no denying“不可否认”。原句中还存在表达不当的问题，应该是大学文凭给学生们的个人发展提供了很多机会。

2、Original: Modern technologies have improved today's factories technology and brought pollutions to the minimum.

Revised: However, with the modern technology, air and noise pollution can be kept to a minimum.

“降到程度”是to a minimum。

3、Original: If you want to catch the pace of the rhythms of the modern world you had better get ready.

Revised: If you want to keep pace with the rhythms of the modern world, you had better get up early.

原句catch up with the pace的搭配是不对的，如果表述“和现在世界的快节奏同步”可以用keep pace with（与…同步）或catch up with(赶上…步伐）。

4、 Original: Every year, Lenovo spends a large amount of money to product environment without regret. By doing this, Lenovo makes a profit at the same time.

Revised: Every year Lenovo spends a large amount of money on environmental protection while at the same time makes a profit.

原句中动词spend的词组搭配不正确，spend可以表示“花费钱或时间”。常用的搭配有：spend money on sth./sb.表示“在某人或某事上花钱”；spend time with sb.表示“花时间和某人在一起”；spend time（in)doing sth. 表示“花时间做某事”等。另外，原句有些啰嗦，改后稿用while结构省略了一个句子，使句子更加简洁。

5、Original: The advertisement as the news inform us the current technologies of a country.

Revised: The ad informed us of the current technology, solar, available within that country.

“让某人得知什么消息或事情”，要用inform sb. of sth.,不能直接说inform sb. sth.。

6、Original: I do admire those people who trust their first intuition for their courage to follow what their hearts believe.

Revised: I do admire those people who trust their first impressions, for they have the courage to follow their hearts.

“跟着感觉走”的英语表达式follow one's heart。

（三） 表达受中文影响的问题

英语和汉语表达有区别，如果在英语写作中套汉语思维，就是中式化英语的表现。这只能使文章语言蹩脚、冗赘。所以考生在平时阅读英语材料和练习写作时，要注意英语表达和汉语表达的差别，切忌在写作中硬套汉语思维。

1、 Original: If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way

Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “street smarts”.

Agree to say that表达中式化，只需要agree that即可；the best book knowledge acquisition改为the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge（学校给我们提供了获取书本知识的方法）更为恰当，同样，后面的the best surviving techniques改为the best method for acquiring common sense...;加上street marks（街头智慧）给文章的词汇增添色彩。

2、Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wifes and daughter.

Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters

原句中studying education and communication的说法中式化，不符合英语的表述，应该为studying，educating themselves。除了词语表达，此句中还存在其他问题，如名词单复数的使用：不是提高他们的角色，而是提高他们自身以扮演好母亲角色。还有，女性不止一个人。很多人都在扮演母亲角色，role和mother应用复数，故将improve their role as a mother改为improve themselves in their roles as mother；同样，为保持一致，wife和daughter也可用复数，原文中wife的复数写法有误，应该是wives。

3、Original：If you can get the point of communication by watching TV，will you...?

Revised：If one can learn about communicating from television，will you...?

原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表达不清，让人难以理解，应该是指“从电视上学习交际”：learn about communicating from television。

（四）动词形式不正确

考生容易犯的错误还有对动词在不同地方使用的形式把握不清，有的应该使用动名词的，却直接用了动词原形，有的应该使用过去分词的，却是用了动名词。考生需注意以下几点：固定搭配中的动词形式；动名词或动词不定式可以作主语；不同时态、语态中的动词形式。虚拟语气也是写作中容易出错的地方，主要是由于考生在写作中没有使用虚拟语气的意识。所以，在平时考生应该加强对虚拟语气的了解，注意虚拟语气中动词的使用。

1、Original: So take all the above factors into account，I may not quite agree with the opinion that parents are our best teaches.

Revised：So，taking all of the above factors into account，I do not agree with the opinion that parents are our best teachers.

本段开头的so take all… 本应该是伴随状语成分，但作者直接用了动词原形，这是错误的，应该和主句的主语I保持逻辑一致，是作者把以上的因素考虑在内的。除此以外，原句中作者为能明确表明自己的立场，把may not quite agree改为do not agree。

2、Original：We can enjoy the art of cuisine in cooking rather than tolerating the time-consuming preparation.

Revised: We can enjoy the art of cooking rather than simply tolerate the time-consuming preparation.

rather than的前后用此应保持一致，此处rather than后的用词要与其前面的动词原形enjoy保持一致，故将tolerating改为tolerate。原句中还有一个用此问题，cuisine本意为“烹饪”，与in cooking冲突，故只保留一个cooking即可。

3、Original：Drink water with hygiene will certainly benefit the local folks a lot.

Revised：Drinking clean water will certainly benefit the local population.

原句动名词作主语，将drink该为drinking。原句中还有词汇表达问题：干净的水用clean water表达恰当，不用water with hygiene。

4、Original：The rapid development of science and technology has lead to an increasing need for more relaxation in off-work time.

Revised：The rapid development of modern economies has led to an increasing need for more relaxation in off-work time.

原句中lead在现在完成时中应该用过去分词，应该为led。

5、Original：CCTV 10 is such a channel intended to teach people...

Revised：CCTV 10 is a channe that teaches people...

原句中的intend不应用过去分词的形式。

6、Original：They keep focused on money while friends and families slip away.

Revised：They keep focusing on money while friends and families slip away.

focus（聚焦、集中于）此处应该用动名词形式，keep doing“一直做某事”，keep focusing on。

（五）名词的单复数、冠词的使用

1、Original：a even brighter future

Revised：an even brighter future

even是以元音因素开头的，所以用不定冠词an。

2、Original：I often watch TV with my father when there is a NBA game.

Revised：I often watch TV with my father when there is an NBA game.

字母N是以元音因素（e）开头的，故用不定冠词an。

3、 Original：Additionally getting a job will enrich their experience and build up their resume，better preparing them for the future career.

Revised：Additionally getting a job will enrich their experience and build up their resume，better preparing them for future careers.

原句中是指“他们（年轻人）未来的事业”，这些人将来会有所不同的事业，故career要变复数；将来的事业此处不是特指，不需要加定冠词the。

（六）用词与文章风格不符

在托福作为写作中，应避免使用口语化的词或表达，如俚语、省略表达（can't）；也应该避免使用概念较大或者学术性的词或表达。

1、Original：It is in intelligence that makes people successful and earn large sum of bucks and gain great reputation！

Revised：So，I believe it is intelligence that leads to success in terms of financial wealth and reputation.

buck有“美元”的意思，但这是一种非常不正式的说法。在写作中所使用的语言要注意整体的风格，如果在正式的写作中出现及其口语化或俚语化的词语，会让阅卷者感到很突兀。

2、Original：The international banks are cognizant of the new law's significance.

Revised：The international banks are aware of the new law'significance.

cognizant是十分正式的词（属于jargon），此处用aware即可，在托福写作中，要避免使用属于性质的词。