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细节决定雅思写作成败之积累地道表达

2012-12-26 16:57     作者 :    

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  雅思写作单项一直以来是广大考生的弱项。很多考生本身并不缺乏论据和基本表达,可是大多都在六分左右徘徊。我认为,大体的文章框架和写作内容,每个考生都差不多。可是想要拿到6.5分以上的分数,就要做好细节工作。所谓细节,就要求考生避免人云亦云,而应该准确运用英文逻辑,地道的表达以及新颖的思考角度是不可或缺的三大法宝。本文仅通过四个表达浅议地道表达在雅思写作中的使用。

  Popular

  雅思写作大作文题目都是社会热点话题,所以考生在作文中经常使用"popular"(流行的)这个词。可是这个词在考官眼中已经俗套了,而且也无法传达真实有效的信息,也不符合Mark Griffins在教程6-7.5分书中所提到的,能够理解"detailed reasoning"。那么,传神达意又地道准确的表述是怎样的?以最近非常火的韩国热门歌曲“江南style”为例,我们一起来看一下native-speakers所写的句子。

  例1:By now, "Gangnam Style" has become part of the pop culture lexicon. The infectious song by South Korean singer Psy broke the Guinness world record for "most likes" on YouTube.

  (‘Gangnam style? Not in N. Korea’, Los Angeles Times, published on 12 Oct 2012)

  在这段话中,popular的含义用的一个非常形象的形容词infectious来表述。一首歌是具有“传染性”的,就生动的描述其“受欢迎程度”。

  例2:It (the video for Psy's track Gangnam Style) is a colourful, over-the-top, hilarious pastiche of commercial pop videos and sees Psy debut his now internationally famous "horse riding dance".

  (‘Gangnam Style the UK's first K-pop number one’, BBC online news “newbeats”, 1 Oct)

  与个例子不同,这里使用了副词和形容词的搭配,“在国际范围内知名的”这种具体的解释说明,来表述出这首歌是非常受欢迎的。不同词性搭配的手法在写作中也是非常好的表达方式。

  例3:Gangnam Style, a novelty song by the South Korean rapper Psy, is the global pop sensation of 2012.

  (South Korea: a rough guide to Gangnam style, The Telegraph, 7 Oct)

  本例中,使用抽象名词sensation来表达这首歌是广为传颂的。抽象名词也是学术性文章中必不可少的表达方式。

  Exposure

  在写作的媒体类,社会类话题中,经常使用的一个表达是“经常使用”。比如,考题中会出现孩子们经常看电视的利弊,经常使用因特网,以及交通工具排放的废气对人体的影响等。中国学生的作文中经常出现的表达是"watching TV too much", "the overuse of the Internet", 以及"excessive use of the Internet"等。然而,exposure做为一个地道表达很少被提及。学生多数熟知字典上对exposure “暴露”这一条释义,可在写作中可以做为“接触”的同义表达使用。比如例4,就是在一条很好的写作素材,用于交通能源类,说明每天接触交通工具产生的噪音对人体的影响。

  例4:It found that 2% of Europeans suffer severely disturbed sleep because of noise pollution and 15% can suffer severe annoyance. Chronic exposure to loud traffic noise causes 3% of tinnitus cases, in which people constantly hear a noise in their ears.

  例5:Some people may point out that too much exposure to advertising imposes a lot of pressure on children as well as their parents.

  例6:The report raises concerns about how this increasing amount of time spent with media is affecting us -- and specifically, how it is affecting youth. Heavy media exposure could have long-term effects on our bodies and brains that we don't realize.

  例5和例6都是媒体类的写作素材,说明过多的接触广告等媒体信息对青少年的身心影响。

  例7:The American Medical Association's Council on Scientific Affairs concluded in a 1997 report that given the "particular uncertainty…regarding the long-term health effects of low-dose pesticide exposures," it is "prudent" for adults and children to limit their exposure and to "consider the use of the least toxic chemical pesticides or non-chemical alternatives."

  例7说明了过多的接触和使用杀虫剂等化学制品,对青少年的影响的确是存在的。政府应该通过限制孩子接触到杀虫剂的方式,降低化学制品对孩子的危害。

  Embrace

  "embrace"是非常地道的表达,不仅仅是中国学生熟悉的“拥抱”含义。殊不知还有其他含义。在社会类和教育类题目的写作中,考生经常使用“获得,有”这个概念。通过接受大学教育,学生得到了理论知识和实践技能。做免费义工,学生能够得到人生阅历。大多的表达都是停留在"gain theoretical knowledge"或"acquire vast amounts of working experience"。而"embrace"就是很传神的表达。

  例8:Sales of carbonated sodas have been declining for the last decade, as American consumers have embraced new choices of beverages and, more recently, become more aware of how much sugar they contain.

  例8是一个非常好的素材用于健康类话题中,美国人意识到了饮料中的含糖量,且有了更多的选择,所以碳酸饮料的销量下降。

  例9:Along with theoretical knowledge, today's working world requires its workforce to embrace practical skills and soft skills as well. It is believed that the Malaysian workforce, locally and overseas, possesses such skills.

  在例9中,“要求其劳动力掌握实践技能”的表达中,就用到了embrace.非常简洁地道。

  在写作实践中,embrace还可以表示"accept"的含义。在社会类和教育类话题中常见的表达“接受改变/现实/新事物”等,都可以使用。请见下面native speakers的文段。

  例10:Graduates of the Westerly High School Class of 2012 are urged to embrace change and share knowledge

  例11:Human development has always been driven by knowledge, and by our capacity to impart this knowledge, cumulatively, to succeeding generations. But as the pool of knowledge continually expands, and demand for access to it increases, the traditional means of sharing it are strained. UNESCO estimates that, by 2025, there will be an additional 80 million students seeking higher education. The way things are going, there is simply no way we will be able to give them all an on-campus education. To match this demand, Universities should embrace the move toward online learning.

  例11是一段非常好的素材,用于教育类的文章。常见考题因特网的使用和出现能否取代传统的学校。传统的观点集中在讨论学校的优点,比如学习氛围好,老师的互动作用和道德教育,性格培养的功能是网络不能取代的;以及讨论网络能够提供大量信息和随时随地学习不受空间限制的优点。可是本文段却提供了另一个思考问题的角度和素材:学生的数量太多,传统的学校教育已经无法满足学生的需求,因此要接受在线学习的网络教育方式。通过本文段的学习,不仅可以掌握地道表达,还能换个新颖的思考角度,同时有具体可靠的数据支持,实在是难得。

  Tight

  在大作文结尾段的合理化建议部分,以及报告类题目的解决措施部分,都需要考试针对该讨论话题提出建议。传统的思考角度是从政府着手,政府可以给予经济援助或扶持;政府也可以加强监管和控制;政府大力宣传教育。在考虑到媒体类和犯罪类题目时,经常用到“政府应严格控制该行为”的表达。如“政府应严格控制媒体中的暴力色情信息,以达到降低社会犯罪率的目的”。而考生的表达多集中于"The government should strictly control/impose stricter control the violence and pornography in the media to reduce crime rates."这两种表达在语法角度而言都无可厚非,可从语言地道的层面来看,就略有差池。请看下面的例子:

  例12:All media in North Korea are tightly controlled by the country's propaganda network.

  例13:Western Australia's emerging unconventional gas sector, which undertakes a practice known as fracking, will be subject to Australia's toughest disclosure laws and to be more tightly regulated. Mines and Petroleum Minister Norman Moore says it is important to establish strict laws while the industry is still young.

  在以上两个例子中,个例子是关于朝鲜媒体,第二个例子是围绕西澳的某经济行为,都传达了政府严格控制的含义。

  以上仅挑选四个精妙的地道表达详细阐述。另外还有许多容易记忆和使用的地道表达,只要考试平时有留心积累和灵活运用,就一定可以提高自己的英文表达能力。比如恰当使用名词结构,对于动词“知道know”这个含义:The average citizen has no knowledge of YouTube, Facebook or Twitter. 再比如巧妙换词性和使用地道表达,对于烂俗的名词结构"the wide use of the Internet":North Korea is as isolated and backward as South Korea is wired and technologically advanced. “善于积累,慎重思考,灵活运用”是提高自己表达的有效方法,只有多读多练,见贤思齐,才能在雅思写作中取得好的成绩。

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