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集团客服电话：400-097-9266
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京ICP备05069206号 京公网安备11010802021513 出版物经营许可证
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Today, many tasks at home or work have been done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?
应对上面这个题目，学生在让步论述中写了这样几个句子： Admittedly, the development of robots can bring negative influence. Many people might confront serious problems such as unemployment. There is no denying that if more and more work are done by robots, the demand for human labor will drop quickly, which may bring lots of social problems. 教师修改后如下： Admittedly, the widespread application of robots may cause some repercussions. To begin with, many people might be confronted with unemployment, since various occupations such as cashier and server in the restaurant can be easily replaced by robots, which consequently triggers a series of social problems. Ø 学生整体意群信息还是比较完整的，回应的观点也比较到位，但主要问题是句间的逻辑点过于碎片化了，尽量能够做到信息点的整合。按照总→分的结构行文。To begin with虽然表达简单，但是却是逻辑的“粘合剂”。 * 另外第三句的there is no denying… 和前一句可作合并，后面的demand for human labor 和前面的unemployment 意思基本一样，因此可以合并，将这里的句子写成原因状语since various occupations… * 另外主题句将can替换成may，表示的是一种让步。 Ø 词汇上的选用注意灵活一些： * 机器人毕竟是人去使用，所以application相较于“万金油”的development 更加精确； * negative influence可替换repercussions； * confront被动用法表示“使面临”，而主动 sb. confronts sth. 表示一种积极的含义“勇于面对”； * lots of social problems中lots of比较口语化，可以改成一系列a series of。
