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1月5日托福独立写作题目
“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Scientific discoveries should be shared by all countries worldwide, and no government should keep them secret.”
写作范文
Introduction
【心里确定好立场,创造“画面”:现实情景、历史事实、个人轶事,为立场做铺垫】→ In astronomy, a star may be discovered, and the discovery may be reported to the world as it is confirmed. In medicine, a treating chemical may be found, and the finding may be made known to all. ← 【故意两个句子的句式相同】 Unfortunately ,← 【故意没有用however,但是表达了转折意义,同时也表达了作者的立场:“不分享是不幸的”】it is not unlikely that scientific discoveries are withheld. As this may create profits for those governments thatkeep the finds in their private possession, this is a loss for the entire humanity. ← 【进一步明确立场,并且在前半句暗示了让步】
Body
【先对应开头段落里最后一句话所表达的让步】→ It makes sense that the government wants to possess the discovery exclusively, since the economic gains may be soimmense that it cannot afford to share the secret. Without fully appreciating the probable tremendous economic appeal, it may be unfair to condemn this consideration. In addition, a secret may be kept for other reasons, for example, homeland security and military advantage. However, countries should actuallyadopt a rather global view. ←【经典的短句法】 One country alone may not be able to fully utilize the discovery on the economic level, and some discoveries may play a bigger role: they may contribute to world peace, beyond regional security. ← 【立论的thesis statement】
The first instance where shared information can create greater benefits is that one country's astronomical discovery may help the one country'sagrarian economy to generate profits. However, the profits may soon reach the limit since the discovery is used only locally. Instead, if the information is known and utilized worldwide, the world's agriculture may develop as a result of all countries' synergy, and even the smallest divided portion of the profits generated may be greater than the profits exclusively owned by the one country. 【定语的组织是难点:斜体下划线的部分】
Second, a finding in physics may be used for the discoverer country to make super weapons. Armed by the weapons, the nation seems secure and safe.However, history has shown the opposite. ←【经典的短句法】 Having the advantage however lead to no peace but war, which threatens every country regardless of the military strength. Instead, the finding should be shared, and the advantage, the hazard, is eliminated, and a balance may be maintained. Peace is more likely, therefore.
Conclusion
To see things in perspective, when a principle, an equation or a chemical is discovered, it should be celebrated by the entire humanity. Borders should not matter. ←【经典的短句法】