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2021年4月10日
托福独立写作
【考场题目回忆】:
Your friend is going to reduce the living expenses.
Which of the following way would you recommend to your friend and why?
- Find a roommate that can share the living expenses.
- Buy the new technology products less frequently.
- Shop for less expensive food to cook at home.
【Introduction】
Going through the three options, reduced shopping for new tech products may be crossed off the list immediately. it does help to save money—in fact, perhaps thousands per year; however, if this friend of mine is not a tech fan, who chases the latest updates of tech products, it would not help much since such shopping is not a regular thing. At this point, the choice has been narrowed down: to find a roommate or to cook at home, and I would not recommend home-sharing.
【本段解析】:
开头段落不仅仅说明了题目的内容,也干脆直接否定掉了第二个选项。
如果想要在开头段落里直接否定一个选项,需要三言两句就说出一个非常有力的理由去否定。
比如这里的“购买电子设备不是日常行为,所以难得买一次的东西,其实也不是意义上的节省日常生活开支”。
【Body】
Home-sharing can destroy the life of this friend. This is as serious as it sounds. It is never easy to find a person who you feel comfortable with under the same roof, and a wrong person can cause sufferings. Some people may think that for the sake of the reduced rent for sure, the reduced utility bills perhaps, and even the reduced petrol cost if the two persons can carpool, they would have tolerance to the wrong person. But to think is easy and to actually have the tolerance is not. Not only would the wrong co-tenant make the home-sharing life unpleasant on the mood, they would even increase living expenses.
【本段解析】:
这一段开始否定选项一。但是没有直接排山倒海来一大段理由,而是先让步说一下,然后再一句话反驳。
那么,具体的反驳的理由留在了下一段集中陈述。这样的段落分配方式比较好。避免了因某一个段落过分长而让读者在长篇幅中感到不舒服的情况。
【Body】
My personal experience teaches a lesson that the tenant may have bad hygiene, making the common area of the house—the kitchen in particular—messy, greasy and dirty. The tenant also may have a wasteful lifestyle in the use of electricity and gas, and the bill-sharing situation would be reversed: it would be my friend, instead of the tenant, who shares the utility bill for the other--let me be clear: my friend would have no intention of taking advantage of the other person and certainly would not want to be taken advantage of. In this situation, if the extravagant co-tenant pays for only half of the usage—and this is the most likely allocation, since the usage by each individual in the house would not be precisely calculated, my friend would be paying more than his fair share. At this point, in what ways does home-sharing reduce the cost of living? As for the carpool, as is thought to be another benefit, what if the person is always a free rider?
【本段解析】:
这一段集中火力讨论选项一的缺陷。具体的三个缺陷是一一针对上一段让步内容中的三个点来讨论的。这样也使得两个段落在内容上有联系。
【Body】
So, I would recommend home-cooking and less eating-out or take-aways. First, unlike home-sharing, where the friend of mine would depend on another person, home-cooking saves money without that my friend would need another person’s help. 此处注意,其实并不需要就这句话里提及的比较展开讨论,因为这个点已经非常清楚无需赘述。
Second, cooking at home can be considerably economical compared with eating out or buying take-away food. 这里需要把considerably economical的具体情况展开,三句到四句话就足够了。
【本段解析】:
这一段肯定是集中讨论选项三的合理性。分成了两个点,个点是针对选项一的比较得出,第二个点是选项三本身确实可以省钱。
【Conclusion】
So, if my friend is going to reduce the cost of living, my advice is to economize on eating. And I am strongly opposed to sharing accommodation.
【本段解析】:
结尾段落短小精悍,点到为止,无需长篇大论。