Singles who have trouble finding a date may be suffering from unresolved grief, which can block love, a US author suggests.
Aurora Winter, author of From Heartbreak to Happiness, says loneliness, disappointment and anger are all symptoms of grief and studies show most people suffer from unresolved grief.
"Divorce, death and disappointments can all hurt your chances of finding love -- without you knowing it. Unresolved grief blocks love. I can tell you from personal experience that no one wants to compete with a ghost," Winter, who founded the Grief Coach Academy after the sudden death of her husband at age 33, says in a statement. "People who have lost a spouse to death frequently yearn for their late husband or wife."
It's a very small step between resenting one's former partner and being bitter at the opposite sex in general -- including your date -- but to find love, it is absolutely essential that people heal unresolved grief from prior relationships, Winter advises.
"The most attractive people are genuinely happy,"Aurora says in a statement. "People want to be around happy people. Happy people get the best dates, the best jobs and the best opportunities."
"Happiness is feeling good about the present and optimistic about the future,"Aurora says.
美国一名作家称求偶受挫的单身人士可能苦闷忧虑、难以释怀，而这些情愫会让爱情避而远之。
《从心碎到幸福》的作者欧若拉•文特称孤独、失望和愤懑都是苦闷心情的典型症状，而研究表明大部分人都有难以释怀的经历。
文特33岁时丈夫去世，随后建立了悲痛援助学院，她在一份声明中说：“离婚、死亡和失望等会不知不觉影响你找到新爱的几率。无法释怀的苦闷会将爱情关在门外。依我个人经验来看，没有谁愿意和你过去的某人争夺爱情。痛失伴侣的人往往对去世的一半念念不忘。”
人们总是易于因对前任心怀怨恨而在异性面前惆怅或刻薄，甚至约会时也这样。然而文特建议，要找到爱情，就得对过去的感情完全释怀。
她在声明中称：“异性最青睐的就是真正快乐的人，喜欢和他们相处。开心的人总能找到的伴侣、工作和的机会。快乐就是真正享受现在，乐观对待未来。”
