阅读量:
受到疫情影响,商店关门,学校停课。曾经的毕业季有答辩结束后的狂欢,有穿上学士服接受专属“加冕”的毕业典礼,有美美的毕业照。而今年,多个高校宣布毕业典礼推迟,毕业照成了群聊截图。
今年的春招也——
也有些学校想出了其他方式来完成这些告别仪式,比如日本东京BBT大学的毕业典礼,学生在家里控制人脸机器人,有老师授予学位,还可以合影留念。
而最近“火出圈”的脱口秀主持人“崔娃”特雷弗·诺亚(Trevor Noah)则携 《每日秀》的团队成员们送上了一份爆笑“励志”演讲,快来和小编一起干了这碗毒鸡汤~
Well, class of 2020,here we are.
2020级的毕业生们,我们到了这个时刻。
Here we are.
我们到了。
Here we are.
我们到了。
Here we are.
我们到了。
At home.
隔离在家。
At home.
隔离在家。
At home.
隔离在家。
I'm stuck in a hotel room in Bulgaria.
我被困在保加利亚的一个酒店房间里。
And I know this wasn't the graduation you were expecting.
我知道这不是你们所期待的毕业典礼。
You thought you'd be with your fellow graduates on the campus lawn, hungover from the night before,
你以为你会和你的同学们在校园草坪上醒过来,忍受着前夜的宿醉。
Trying to figure out how to break up with your boyfriend who wants to follow you to the big city.
正想办法怎样才能甩掉那个想和你一起去大城市的男朋友。
But instead, we're meeting on Zoom,and judging everyone's living room furniture.
然而我们现在只能在Zoom上开着视频,评判每个人客厅的家具。
And I know some of you are worried that this pandemic might stop you from reaching your dreams.
我知道你们有些人担心这场流行病可能会阻止你实现梦想。
But I want you to know that even without this pandemic,nobody reaches their dreams.
但我想让你知道即使没有这场流行病,也没人能实现自己的梦想。
Nobody.
没有人。
Most people just end up doing a job they don't hate until they retire.
大多数人只会做一份他们不讨厌的工作直到退休。
It's just life.
这就是生活。
You think my dream was to work on this show?
你觉得我的梦想是为这个节目工作吗?
I wanted to be an astronaut.
我可是想当宇航员的。
I wanted to be a dancer.
我想成为一名舞蹈演员。
I wanted to be a dinosaur.
我想做一只恐龙。
I wanted to not live in a hotel room in Bulgaria.
我不想再被困在保加利亚的酒店房间里了。
The concierge is a horse.
这里的门房是匹马。
And the fact is the story of your life is still being written.
事实是,你的人生故事还在书写。
This is just one chapter in your life,a life that will no doubt be filled with many other pandemics.
这只是你生命中的一个篇章,毫无疑问,你接下去的人生将充满许多其他的流行病。
But remember, you have so much to look forward to, like the year 2025,I think this shit will have died down by then.
但要记得,你还有很多可以期待的东西,比如2025年,这糟糕的事儿应该就过去了。
And once this is all over, your class will make a huge difference in the world.
一旦一切雨过天晴,你的同窗们将会改变这个世界。
Statistically speaking, ten percent of you will go on to lead companies.
从统计学上讲,百分之十的人会当上公司高管。
The rest of you will probably murder someone.
你们其他人可能会变杀人犯。
So, great things await you.
伟大的征途在前方。
Until then, use this time to travel.
在那之前,利用这段时间去旅行。
Go on an adventure to, like, I don't know,the other side of the hotel room.
比如来一场冒险之旅,到酒店房间的另一侧去。
Explore the really far corners of your backyard.
探索你后院那个遥远的角落。
I heard somebody's buried there?
听说有人被埋在那里了?
Visit the attic of your house.
去你家的阁楼看看。
Find your mom's old journal that says that your dad wasn't her first choice,but she decided to settle for him anyway, because eye doctors make great money.
找找你妈妈的旧日记,上面说你爸爸并不是她的,但她还是选择了他,因为眼科医生挺挣钱的。
And as you go out into the world, remember all the people who touched you along the way.
当你进入社会,记住这一路感动过(触摸过)你的人。
Because those are probably the assholes spreading this virus.
因为他们很有可能就是那种传播病毒的混蛋。
Why are they going around touching everybody?
他们为什么要到处乱摸其他人啊?
Let me tell you something.
我来告诉你一件事。
If you try to touch me, I'm gonna (bleep).
你碰我一下, 我就【哔——】
As you move forward in life, the most important piece of advice I can give you is this.
当你走向人生的下一个阶段,我能给你的最重要的建议就是这个。
You are much stronger than you think,just like that offbrand toilet paper you found on the dark web.
你比你自己想象的要坚强得多,就像你在暗网找到的那些劣质卫生纸一样。
Good luck.
祝各位好运。
Good luck.
祝好运。
Good luck.
祝好。
Good luck.
祝你们好运。
Good luck.
祝你们好运。
Help me get out of this hotel.
帮我离开这家酒店。
For real, call the embassy.
没开玩笑,给大使馆打电话。
说起崔娃,也许很多人的印象是他的幽默毒舌,对特朗普的花式吐槽,或是对国际时事的犀利评价。但他的梗不会让人厌烦,不会为制造噱头而胡乱开炮。他发言的立场总是从一个旁观者的角度出发,用自我调侃式的戏谑来表达观点。
关注脱口秀节目的同学可能知道,《每日秀》是现场直播,在播广告的时候,主持人就要跟观众聊天,从而保持住观众的情绪,这一环节就叫做幕间秀(Between the Scenes)。崔娃每次都会幽默地调侃起自己的一些生活经历,这些片段被节目组传到油管上,非常受欢迎。
讲到特雷弗(崔娃)的家庭,小编推荐大家读一读他的传记——《天生有罪》(Born A Crime)。
这不是一本“我如何走上成功之路”的鸡汤文学,也不讲他如何成为一名喜剧演员,而是讲他是如何出生在种族隔离制度下的南非,如何长大,以及他那位勇敢、不甘平凡、幽默、坚强的母亲。
比尔·盖茨说,阅读特雷弗的自传《天生有罪》,我很快了解到他的这种局外人视角,是如何在他“格格不入”的人生中被历练出来的。
在这本自传里,特雷弗(崔娃)深情地回忆了自己这位意志坚强、反叛、乐观、幽默的黑人母亲。这对母子的故事令人泪下又捧腹大笑。毫不夸张地说,母亲决定了他的人生底色和未来走向。
很多网友表示他小时候跟他妈妈简直就像Tom&Jerry的日常,小编特此为大家摘录一小段。
It's funny, in South Africa, we have a saying, and you must remember because of so many of the struggle leaders in South Africa were either imprisoned or exiled.
很有趣,在南非我们有个说法,你必须要铭记,因为南非很多运动领导人不是被囚禁就是被流放。
The movement in South Africa was held together in large part by women in the country.
南非的运动很大程度上是国内的女性坚持下去的。
And so it's weird for me 'cause I understand, you travel the world, you understand that everywhere feminism is different and the idea of women is different,
所以我很奇怪,你周游世界,就会明白每个地方,女权主义都不同,女性的概念也不同,
but I grew up in a world that was very matriarchal and where women were the most dangerous freedom fighters that existed.
我长大的地方,母系氏族的氛围很浓,女人们才是最强悍的自由斗士。
It's true, you read up on Winnie Mandela, like, Nelson Mandela was an icon, but the police in the country were afraid of Winnie Mandela, you know, they were.
真的,你们去研究一下Winnie Mandela(曼德拉的妻子)的事迹,曼德拉是偶像,但是南非的警察都害怕Winnie Mandela,是真的。
And we had a phrase in South Africa that was, we still use it today which was ...
在南非我们有句熟语,至今还在用。
Which means you strike a woman, you strike a rock, and that's what I grew up learning.
翻译过来是,“你打一个女人,就如同打一块石头”。这就是我从小到大的认知。
That's, those kudos, man.
这是传承。
There was fire, there was fire, and a lot of the time my mom would strike me with a rock,and ...
如火如荼。不过很多时候我妈也会用石头打我。