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From the outset, I was against the idea After all, who would have thought that such an outstanding outcome might be possible? And even if it could be possible, why wouldnt anyone with an ounce of intelligence want to try it? Anyway, this was how I almost came to be in the Guinness Book of Records
It all started when we decided to develop a square watermelon so it would be easier to transport At the outset we drew an outline of the size and shape we wanted, and selected fast growing seed known to output unusual shapes The seeds were planted in an oval pattern around the edge of a former football oval, well known for its fertile soil Many plants grew, and we selected a few young fruit to enclose within a square frame, taking care to also ensure there was an outlet through which we could inject our secret formula for square growth It worked so well that to all outward appearances, we had been successful We then contacted the Guinness people to outline our success, and were invited to visit London with an example of our watermelon output So with an optimistic outlook we boarded the plane for London However, our watermelon collapsed because it was stored next to the oven in the kitchen of the plane All we had left was the outer part—six squares When we tried to put them back together, they would always fall outward, so the Guinness people wouldnt accept our claim that all of the pieces had come from just one watermelon
开始的时候我并不赞成这个主意。毕竟谁会想到这么一个杰出的结果有可能会出现呢?而且如果真有可能,那为什么从来没有任何有一盎司智力的人愿意试试呢?可不管怎么说,我就是这样差点进了《吉尼斯大全》。
整件事是这样开始的:我们决定开发一种方形西瓜,这样运输起来会更方便。开始我们就我们想要的大小和形状画了个草图,然后挑选了一些生长迅速、能产出异形西瓜的种子。我们把种子成椭圆形地种在以前的一个椭圆形足球场周围,因为这里肥沃的土质小有名气。许多棵瓜秧长了出来,我们选了几个嫩瓜放进一个方形盒子里,同时小心地留出一个出口,以便注射能使其长成方形的秘密配方。一切进展顺利,从所有外表来看我们都已经成功了。随即我们与吉尼斯的工作人员联系,概述了我们的成功,我们被邀请去伦敦展示我们西瓜产品中的一个样品。我们满怀乐观的前景登上了去伦敦的飞机。可是,由于我们把西瓜放在了飞机厨房的烤箱旁边,这个西瓜碎掉了,只剩下外面的皮——六个方块。我们想把它们拼回去,可它们总是往外掉,吉尼斯的工作人员说什么也不相信所有碎片来自同一个西瓜。
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